The Mystic Scriptures

Thu, 22 Feb 2007 05:50:36 GMT

Today I moved my elephant legs and corpulent body figure to the gym. I
knew I had to work very hard to burn off my fatty calories, since I selfishly
had ice cream at lunch. Why did I did I have to be so selfish and have that
ice cream?? At the gym, I clearly had to punish myself to get rid of those
extra calories that I clearly never should have had. Since being at college,
I’ve done basically nothing. Therefore, I envision that I’d come back home
being plump. At school, people have been recently commenting on my round
figure. I don’t really understand what is happening to me, but for some reason
my self esteem has plummeted. I often see my best friends- fries, ice cream,
and just plain fat, at the dining halls.
To recapitulate, I’m basically a fat ass. People hide under tables at
the dining halls since to them they think an earthquake is occurring. I
basically spend most of the time with my “friends” or at the computer doing
what a typical fat ass would do. Because of my obesity, people sometimes
revolve around me (literally-gravity is present around me). Mothers fear me
when I walk down the street since at any instant moment their children could
be sucked into my gravitation force because after all, I’m the size of a
planet. In all, please don’t be like me. I don’t want anyone to suffer the
depression that I go through in every day life. For the love of god, just start with
anorexia while you're young.

Wed, 11 Oct 2006 18:45:14 GMT

Battlestar Battlestar Battlestar Battlestar Battlestar Battlestar

GALACTICA!!!!

Love It!

Watching again this friday, stay tuned for more.

Oh... Dear.... Lord

Mon, 02 Oct 2006 13:49:43 GMT

Oh wow. Oh.... wow. Umm, I'm shocked. I'm in my office right now and I have the yahoo music radio on the Film Scores Station. But I just heard the most ... unnatural... most .. mutilated version of a theme.
We all know the Jurassic Park theme, the movie was a big hit and so was the theme. The soft piano with strings, its one of John William's best.
But my god, this Jazz Ensemble, called the Michael Garson Ensemble, covered it and.... and... they had a SAXOPHONE for the piano part which was just... wrong.
I don't ever want to hear anything so unnaturally wrong ever again.

But on a better note the next song was a Harry Potter one, coincidentally which is also John Williams, but was performed by the London Symphony Orchestra and not some horrible jazz ensemble, so it was much better and calmed my frazzled nerves.

Sat, 09 Sep 2006 18:36:52 GMT

I turned my back for a minute last night. I was gone for like, 2 hours, and I come back and its Bedlam. I've got one resident in the ER from Alcohol Poisoning. One girl who is an emotional drunk and crying her eyes out every five minutes and puking in between and then I had to help get the first kids shit in the washer/dryer.

But other than that my night went perfectly.

EW. Ok, that is just DISGUSTING. I think I'm going to puke. I'm in the campus library at the computers. And two computers over is this kid, who is BLOWING HIS NOSE IN HIS SHIRT. NOT JUST ONCE MIND YOU, oh no, this kid has done it 5 TIMES so far. In the course of like, 2 MINUTES. GAG.

Ew he's doing it again. I have to go. this is just sickening.

Sun, 03 Sep 2006 16:51:10 GMT

I thought it quite amazing that so far this weekend, I have seen three extraordinary license plates around.

The first was Illinois, the second Minnesota, and the last was Indiana.

On a suckier note, someone ripped down one of my door decorations, so they're going to hear about that tonight.

Lastly, on a lighter note, I fell asleep on my bed last night!
And I'm alive! Which means it didn't collapse nor did i fall off! Hurray!

Texas Hold 'Em

Fri, 01 Sep 2006 22:00:55 GMT

So, last night I played poker with some of the RAs of the building. I totally won big on this one hand, I was dealt two Aces. Then in the middle there was an Ace a King and a five. So I knew then there was no way i was going to lose with three pair of Aces. Other people were betting high too, and i was just smiling on the inside as they kept going. Then the next card was the last Ace. I won the hand and the disbelief and awe of everyone in the room and all their money too.

Oh, and the next hand, I had a full house, so I did pretty well with that one two. Good times.

Hello Journal

Wed, 30 Aug 2006 03:50:48 GMT

Long time no see, no? I am very tired right now and I shouldn't be, because I definitely took a nap earlier so that I could be awake now. Time Management skills, you have failed me!!!! I think I'm getting a cold, but I can't tell because it could very well just be my allergies. I am making lots of friends with my co-RAs and Peer Mentors.

And ew, to all those Danvers-ites there is an RA, in my cluster, who is a mix of Sean Clarke and Billy.

Awkward much? You can bet on it.

I must give out much due credited to the fabulous Lauren "Superstar" Drapek because I used your door decoration idea here, and I am now the coolest kid on the street, I mean floor, I mean buiding.

The idea was to use ipods and put their names on them and stick 'em on the doors.

I was worried about my room set up, because my bed is now lofted with my desk under it and my futon sits facing it on the opposite wall. I would sleep in my bed, except that I am A) terrified that I will roll off my bed one night and die or B) the whole thing will collapse during the night and I'll die or C) that I'll somehow live through either of those but be a paraplegic or worse a quadriplegic.
I like my motor skills. So instead I've been sleeping on my futon. But what am I going to do if someone comes to visit?! And I do want visitors! Sigh.

Oh and guess what. The All-American Rejects are playing here for a concert in October. So who wants to come see them with me?

I think th

Fri, 04 Aug 2006 17:03:02 GMT

So the other day I was over at zach's house and as we're sitting around having dinner mrs. stanley is telling us about the avian flu - and now i am seriously fucking worried and i cant stop thinking about it.

She said:
its not a matter of is it happens but when it happens
its possible it could wipe out a 1/4 of the population
you would have to seclude yourself at home for like 3 months so you should start buying water and non perishable food.
and she was saying that if your immune system is too good and it attacks the virus, toxins can be released that could kill you.

So, basically we're all fucked until we can adapt to it and get over it.

And during that time when every is trying to seclude themselves... that means no one is working...

which means limited electricity
which brings us back to the stone age basically
limited water, food

and you could be carrying it for like 2 days before it presents itself.

fuck fuck fuck fuck

I dont want to fucking die

Now that I'm home...

Mon, 31 Jul 2006 21:36:02 GMT

yes, back in danvers! score! I can say without fear of retaliation that spanish men are seriously fucked up.
For some reason they do believe that a mullet is an okay hairstyle. And not only that, but they customize them. I have seen such mullets as:
- the stoner - mullet w/ dreads in the back
-the dye job - pick a color, bleach, red, blue I saw a lot of them
-the blob - named for the amount of gel it must take to get this style "right" <- the aforementioned word is to be used as sparingly and only as a lack of a better word eludes me at the moment.

those are just a few. They were inescapable. It was gross. It still is. It should be a crime. Hairstylists should be arrested for commiting crimes against humanity.

and, hallelujah, i have my ipod back again. oh how i missed you music!

Oh dios mio

Mon, 03 Jul 2006 18:05:29 GMT

Hello from spain! i´m here in beautiful salamanca and every turn is an up and down. I just had the worst class and now i feel so discouraged and dont even know what to do with myself. i want to talk to someone but everyone on AIM has an away message up. I love being here don´t get me wrong, but i do not think i am good enough academically for this class. all the people in it besides this one other girl who thank god i´m friends with are all either native speakers or have become fluent. She and i, we´re a far cry from that but the thing is that we´re good enough that we wouldn´t really fit in in the lower program. so, i went to the director after the class just now and basically was like, what should i do? and he was like, oh you could move into this other literature class, and i´m like hey, idiot, if i can´t do well in this one how am i supposed to well in the other? it doesn´t take fluency in a language to understand that, does it? and then he was like, oh well, there is a grammar class for teachers on teaching students grammar so we were like whatever we´ll sit in and see. we got like 5 feet from the door and we saw all the TAs who are here on the trip who are again fluent or native speakers and we were like, wtf. so the girl and i, caroline is her name btw, are basically going to go talk to the director again tomorrow and be like, listen, at this point we don´t even care if we move down to the lower program and get credit. it would be practice and repetition and theres nothing wrong with that. i don´t know if i can just drop this literature class and do my history one because though i had a little trouble with it i could at least get most of what she was saying and what was going on. with this literature class, she lectured for probably about a half hour and i got nothing from it except for the three topics she was talking about, baroque, neoclassicism and preromanticism. and y´know what? i´ve never even learned about those in english and i probably would have trouble understanding the concepts and interpreting the literature and applying those concepts to them in english. so how the hell am i supposed to do it in spanish?

sigh. ok, deep breath.

other than that crisis everything is great. i mean its weird because i can pretty much communicate with the family. i can ask for directions and order food and i had a 5 minute conversation outside the universidad with a complete stranger and i seemed to do ok, so it just is so stressing when you have all this good things happening and then you get slapped with something like feeling overwhelmed and stupid in a class.

Right now im in the plaza mayor and its wonderful. at night it lights up and is really something to see. there are two small parks by my house and ive spent a bit of time in each already. tomorrow i think i might go over to this bigger garden that is some sort of garden for the jesuits? or maybe its a garden by a jesuit church? i dunno, but it looked nice and big on the map so im gonna check it out.

friday i leave for portugal with the group and we´re going to Lisbon. I wasn´t sure if i was going to do it or not because it cost about 200 american dollars for 2 nights and i don´t have a lot of money anymore, but i realized that if i didn´t do it, i would definitely regret it and always wonder, what if i had gone?

The family i am staying with is pretty good. the mother has two sons who live with us, juan who is 25 and dani who is 21. then there´s me and my room mate and then last night two other girls came - its a little crowded but what can you do? and ok, the mother is very hard to figure out, because she seems nice but then the other day she told us we hadf to pay 36 euros for her to do our laundry and i´m almost positive that was in the program fee. then, today at lunch, my room mate had an orange that he didn´t finish and she basically yelled at him for wasting it and the poor guy has only done like one class in his whole life, so he didn´t understand so i had to tell him in english and i felt bad. on the bright side though, everything she´s made so far has been really good. and yesterday for lunch we had platanos con chocolate y helado (bananas with chocolate and ice cream) soooo good.

ok i´m feeling better now about the whole situation i guess. i don´t even care, maybe this minor isn`t worth it. i only wanted it to have something to show for the time that ive studied the language but if its going to cause me this much stress than its not worth it.

Wed, 07 Jun 2006 04:26:37 GMT

Sigh. I'm nervous about going to Spain. Don't get me wrong - I cannot wait to go and I think that once I get there I am going to regret not going for an entire semester, but I'm still nervous.
I'm worried that I'm going to get there and I'm not going to understand anyone and when I try to speak people are going to be like, "Who the hell is this asshole and why is he butchering our language"
Because honestly, every time you have a teacher at college who doesn't speak English as their first language aren't you annoyed? I mean I get past it but don't you sometimes just feel a little bit annoyed? And I care way too much about what other people think of me so that's going to bother me.
I'm also nervous about flying. I can deal with cross country flights and I'm good usually once i'm in the air, but the thought of flying over the ocean with nowhere to land just scares me. Plus, after hearing about Lauren's horror story in travelling i freaked for the whole day. In fact I'm freaking myself out now so I have to stop this train of thought.
I'm worried about not fitting in either. It's bad enough I have so few friends at school but now I'm gonna be in a completely different country with a different culture, language and family. God, I'm going to be living with a family, that's scary too.

And do I tell anyone? Of course not. But I write it out and it helps.

I rented TransAmerica tonight from MovieWorks, anyone wanna watch it tomorrow?

Fri, 02 Jun 2006 04:06:13 GMT

I vote that Goodies become the new Supreme's because let's face it - ice cream is so much better.

Plus, they have music and un sleazy workers.

Hurray for Colleen because she made my frappe. and she is not sleazy.

Casper's Lullaby

Mon, 22 May 2006 17:40:59 GMT

Never have I heard a more heart wrenching, emotional and beautiful song on a movie soundtrack. What's more is that I used to love this song and play it all the time, for comfort, as my own lullaby, even just to listen to it to pick out new things. But I lost the song somewhere along in time and today while listening to the Yahoo! online radio Soundtracks station it came on! And my heart melted all over again. I closed my eyes within a minute of listening just because it felt right and then a minute later it was a good thing i had them closed because i think if I didn't I would have started crying. I'm that emotional right now, plus its that good. I think I may have to either somehow find it and download it or go out and buy the whole thing. Its James Horner so the rest should be okay and just finally having the song will make whatever the price worth it.

A Regular ZOcean-Front Storm

Sun, 21 May 2006 21:36:27 GMT

I miss not being by the water. That's what I hate about being out here at school. I realized this again as this intense storm just passed by.
We never get good storms out here. All it is is clouds and wind and rain. No thunder, not even high winds just windy.
But just now, we had this awesome storm. I looked outside about like 5 minutes before it started. Now, I'm on the 15th floor so I can see pretty far and see pretty much see everything on a clear day. Today, though cloudy, was pretty clear but I looked out and I saw this big white fog-like mass that was thick enough to block the hills out. Then the winds started to really pick up so I threw on some shoes and went outside. The power started to flicker so I took the stairs and I got outside and it was Hailing! The last time I remember seeing hail was in ... 6th grade in math class! And it was obvs. in winter time. But this is out here and in may. So I'm outside, being pelted by hail that's being thrown at me not just by falling from the sky but also from the high winds. It was great. There was thunder and lightning too.

And now, it's been about 20 minutes since the intensity stopped and the clouds are almost all gone and you can see the sky and the sun on the end of the storm front.
I love the beginning and ends of storm fronts because they're these huge lines where the clouds just stop or start.

Sigh. I can't wait to be home and see my first big storm there. I can't wait to be home in general, but I can't do anything about that.
5 days.

Life of Pi = The Superiority of Mankind

Mon, 15 May 2006 23:10:15 GMT

Which was basically my thesis for the paper I just wrote. I felt so arrogant writing it. Ick. But thank god its done. Now I just have to have it proofread and I'm good to go.

Well, I knew this already

Mon, 15 May 2006 17:32:05 GMT

I am 54% Evil Genius.

Evil courses through my blood. Lies and deceit motivate my evil deeds. Crushing the weaklings and idiots that do nothing but interfere in my doings.

Take the
Evil Genius Test
@ FualiDotCom

I miss you grandpa

Sun, 14 May 2006 03:20:54 GMT

The picture is not mine, it was taken by Hector U. Velazquez. I got it from the website in the bottom right of the picture.

I miss my grandfather. It no longer hurts, its more of an aching feeling that something's missing. I can't talk to him, I can only even think of certain phrases that he used to say. I can still picture him, but his voice... is indistinct now. I hate it. I hate losing him, as if losing him once wasn't enough now I have to lose him again and this time I can't do anything. I can't be at his side I can't be with him again to help me remember. This is too painful. And Auntie Joy I miss you too. It's still as much of a shock that grandpa's not home, but I won't be seeing you in the summer's now either. No trips up from Florida and stays in Nahant. I'm switching my wallet for you. I already had one when you gave yours to me, but, I think I'd like to use yours now. I miss you. I miss you both and just like my memory Sparr's has faded. The store is gone. We have pictures but its not the same. I can't go in and walk up and down the aisles. I can't get a pack of gum there anymore, or eat at the old fashioned soda fountain. All I have are some photos, a shirt and my memories. But the shirt will wear and my memories will fade and all I'll have are some photos which have my name.
I want to go home. I want to see my grandparents and my nana. I want to hug my mom and never let go. I want somebody to lie to me and tell me they'll never leave me.

Tue, 09 May 2006 19:41:39 GMT

I need to destress quickly so I figured I'd put the rhyme I made up this morning here.
I was walking to class and saw a worker welding, (because umass is plagued with construction right now) and I came up with this rhyme (to the tune of Twinkle Twinkle):

Twinkle, Twinkle welding torch,
How I love to burn and scorch,
With your white-hot, blazing flame,
Without you arson's not the same,
Twinkle, Twinkle, welding torch,
How I love to burn and scorch.

Mon, 08 May 2006 03:45:44 GMT

LIAR LIAR

CHURCH ON FIRE

I would know, I started it. So there.



     No raindrops on roses,
                                                                                                Or girls in white dresses
                                          It's sleeping with roaches
and taking best guesses
                                                                     at the shade of the sheets before all the stains

             and a few more of your LEAST FAVORITE THINGS.

It's good to be home...

Wed, 26 Apr 2006 17:09:32 GMT

Oh journal at last! I finally feel like myself again. I've been muddling through and for awhile didn't feel like myself but that's finally changing. I noticed it today at first when I had my early class and I just was all fun and giggly with Alyssa in my food class, and then when the teacher was calling on groups for answers, she called on the group called "Choking on a steak tip" and I just laughed openly. Oh geez it was great. I mean, really, when you get to choose your own group name, why in the world would you choose that? Not that I should really say anything since our group name is Fried Green Tomatoes.

Then just now, (I'm at work) and both advisors are on their lunch hours and some kid comes in and he wants to see one of them.
I'm like, "Well he's on his lunch break so you should come back in a bit"
And this kid was like "Well, he asked me to do a little bit of homework for him and so I need to see him"
And I was like, "That's great. Come see him during his walk in hours after his break." and then I said, "He's not even here and his hours are until 4:30. Why don't you try coming back then?"

Ha. Don't mess with me bi-yatch.

K have to get back to writing ma paper.

Work like Whoa

Tue, 25 Apr 2006 00:59:54 GMT

So i failed that accounting test which spurred in me this weird work ethic. This week I have two tests, one i took today and got a 17/20 on, another is on thurs. that I have been studying like crazy for, so i better fucking do well. I also have a paper due thursday that I hate. I hate writing papers. I would rather do an oral presentation than write a paper, and I hate talking in front of people just as much. But it only has to be about 4 pages double spaced so I'll hopefully have a fairly big opening paragraph and then about 3 pages (half of the first and half of the fourth) so really, its only 3 and 1/2 pages. which I should be able to manage. i have about 4 points to make so it should be ok, and the teach is going to look it over after class tomorrow. So if it sucks i'll have her help me, and by help i mean i will slowly draw the answers i need out of her.

I really really want to be done with school. I made my schedule today for next semester which just added kindling to that fire. Who wants to finish this year when you're planning your next.

Oh and so i hate airlines. because way back in jan. over winter break i looked online for airfare for spain and it was like a thousand bucks so i was like shit. Then i came back here and saw that STA travel was displaying round trip tickets to Madrid for only like 242 and so I went in and questioned the lady. I was like, are those prices for real? and she was like, uhh yea. And then i told her i was surprised because online the lowest i could find was for $1000. Now, she worked there, and obviously would have known that couldn't have been true unless something was not right. Which it wasn't. The 242 price was for Feb. and the trip is in july. So she didn't lie to me but she didn't stop me from making an ass out of myself. Bitch. Because now the lowest is like $1400 and i could have saved my parents that 400 if i hadn't been stupid. That's why if i ever see her in there again. I am going to kill her. Or at least make sure she knows she a moral-less whore who doesn't deserve the life she has.

Bright side of my life: going to Wicked in less than 4 days i will be sitting at the Opera House seeing WICKED. Sigh. I watched my bootleg last night to set the mood for the week.

Miss Galinda's Top Ten List from her book HOW TO BE POPULAR
#2 Deoderant. "Remember Elphie, no one likes a smelly witch."

I couldn't agree more. Maybe someone should tell the skank at STA travel? I vote for you.

SO MUCH TO SAY

Wed, 19 Apr 2006 04:14:27 GMT

I am just bursting at the seams with things to say, and yet, ironically I haven't said a word within the last hour. : ) Life's weird like that. The internet is so powerful like that, i think I speak more with my inner monlogue voice now than i do with my actual voice. Sometimes, (don't laugh) but I'll say random parts of what I'm thinking if I haven't said anything in awhile just because I'm afraid that my voice would fade away or something.

OK, so enough of that. Good News! 9 days until I get to go see Wicked in Boston and 11 until I get to see the lovely Drapek sisters and others perform in Guys and Dolls. And speaking of the Drapek sisters I got an email finally from Lauren and i swear I did a little dance around my room. Sigh. I miss you. And also, I just spent part of this last hour having a lengthy and diverse conversation with michelle drapek about everything and nothing oh and college.

MoRE GoOD NeWS! I'm officially going to Salamanca for the month of July! Woot! Which alone is great, but then, so i was telling people so I called my grandparents. I was talking to them and they reminded me that they would give me some money. Now, when they first told i thanked them and was expecting a few hundred dollars or so. So i told them the cost, and they basically offered to pay for like 85 to 90 % of it. I was like, uhh, wow. I mean what do you say to that? What did I say? Talk it over with my parents. Because I KNOW that if they had written that check without me saying anything to my parents, they would have killed me. Like absolutely killed me. Killed me dead. I hate that saying.

OK, more things to say. So, we all know about cannibalism, but it never ceases to amaze me when it comes into the light of society. So apparently this guy in Oklahoma or something, kidnaps this girl. He suffocates her and rapes her and then had her body in one of those big tupperware-like containers. Y'know like you'd use to store things like clothes or toys or whatever. Apparently he was going to eat her. Like, he had BARBECQUE SAUCE and MEAT TENDERIZER out and about in his apartment.
Cand you imagine?
Hey whatcha cooking on the grill there Jim? Smells pretty good.
Oh, this? Filet of HUMAN GIRL.
And then, he entered a plea of not guilty. Even though when police went to search his house, he said, (paraphrased) "Go on in. She's in there. I chopped her up." Sicko.

Speaking of other sickos in the news. Tom and Katie Holmes had their baby. God, i was praying for a miscarriage because NO ONE should have to grow up in a situation like that. And they named her Suri. Which means princess in Hebrew apparently, which is great and all, but honestly wtf is it with stars and fucked up names. These poor fucking children. Yea, and she was born out of wedlock which isnt really so bad, but it just kind of makes you wonder if they'll really get married. And if they do, you kind of wish they wouldn't because you know it won't last but you don't know what else to do because their stupid and poor decisions have brought a life into this world.

I can't wait until Tom Cruise gets the reality check of a lifetime when he realizes that antidepressants are a good thing and that people actually know more about things than he does.

And I've totally wasted this whole night which i should have used to study for my accounting test tomorrow.

Fuck.

Mon, 17 Apr 2006 03:10:15 GMT

You gotta love mutual break-ups. Or at least ones where the other guy doesn't hate you for not liking him. I told him I wouldn't mind being friends with him, because i do like him, i'm just not in like with him. ya kno?

On another note. I bought this spiffy new Panic! at the Disco cd. And i love it. its taken over my life. not really though. oh, and I saw Take the Lead with Antonio Banderas in the movies. It wasn't very good, but it did make me want to dance... until i realized i had to pee so i ran around trying to find the bathrooms.

Oh, well imagine, as I'm pacing the pews in a church corridor,
and I can't help but to hear, no I can't help but to hear an exchanging of words:
"What a beautiful wedding! What a beautiful wedding!" says a bridesmaid to a waiter.
"And yes, but what a shame, what a shame, the poor groom's bride is a whore."
~Panic! , I write sins not tragedies

oh, and i don't care what anyone says, Panic does sound a little like Fall Out Boy

Fri, 14 Apr 2006 03:13:59 GMT

aaaaaaaaaaaaaand i just fucking broke my tv.

Tue, 11 Apr 2006 16:58:13 GMT

I am 15% White Trash.

I, my friend, have class. I am so not white trash. . I am more than likely Democrat, and my place is neat, and there is a good chance I may never drink wine from a box.

Take the
White Trash Test
@ FualiDotCom

Well, THAT'S a relief.