Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in mysticjew18's LiveJournal:

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Thursday, February 22nd, 2007
12:46 am	Today I moved my elephant legs and corpulent body figure to the gym. I knew I had to work very hard to burn off my fatty calories, since I selfishly had ice cream at lunch. Why did I did I have to be so selfish and have that ice cream?? At the gym, I clearly had to punish myself to get rid of those extra calories that I clearly never should have had. Since being at college, I’ve done basically nothing. Therefore, I envision that I’d come back home being plump. At school, people have been recently commenting on my round figure. I don’t really understand what is happening to me, but for some reason my self esteem has plummeted. I often see my best friends- fries, ice cream, and just plain fat, at the dining halls.         To recapitulate, I’m basically a fat ass. People hide under tables at the dining halls since to them they think an earthquake is occurring. I basically spend most of the time with my “friends” or at the computer doing what a typical fat ass would do. Because of my obesity, people sometimes revolve around me (literally-gravity is present around me). Mothers fear me when I walk down the street since at any instant moment their children could be sucked into my gravitation force because after all, I’m the size of a planet. In all, please don’t be like me. I don’t want anyone to suffer the depression that I go through in every day life. For the love of god, just start with  anorexia while you're young. Current Mood: fat (Comment on this)
Wednesday, October 11th, 2006
2:39 pm	Battlestar  Battlestar  Battlestar  Battlestar  Battlestar  Battlestar  GALACTICA!!!! Love It! Watching again this friday, stay tuned for more. Current Mood: crazy (Comment on this)
Monday, October 2nd, 2006
9:40 am	Oh... Dear.... Lord Oh wow. Oh.... wow. Umm, I'm shocked. I'm in my office right now and I have the yahoo music radio on the Film Scores Station. But I just heard the most ... unnatural... most .. mutilated version of a theme. We all know the Jurassic Park theme, the movie was a big hit and so was the theme. The soft piano with strings, its one of John William's best. But my god, this Jazz Ensemble, called the Michael Garson Ensemble, covered it and.... and... they had a SAXOPHONE for the piano part which was just... wrong. I don't ever want to hear anything so unnaturally wrong ever again. But on a better note the next song was a Harry Potter one, coincidentally which is also John Williams, but was performed by the London Symphony Orchestra and not some horrible jazz ensemble, so it was much better and calmed my frazzled nerves. Current Mood: horrified Current Music: Fawkes the Pheonix - HP2(CoS) (Comment on this)
Saturday, September 9th, 2006
2:32 pm	I turned my back for a minute last night. I was gone for like, 2 hours, and I come back and its Bedlam. I've got one resident in the ER from Alcohol Poisoning. One girl who is an emotional drunk and crying her eyes out every five minutes and puking in between and then I had to help get the first kids shit in the washer/dryer. But other than that my night went perfectly. EW. Ok, that is just DISGUSTING. I think I'm going to puke. I'm in the campus library at the computers. And two computers over is this kid, who is BLOWING HIS NOSE IN HIS SHIRT. NOT JUST ONCE MIND YOU, oh no, this kid has done it 5 TIMES so far. In the course of like, 2 MINUTES. GAG. Ew he's doing it again. I have to go. this is just sickening. Current Mood: sickened (Comment on this)
Sunday, September 3rd, 2006
12:47 pm	I thought it quite amazing that so far this weekend, I have seen three extraordinary license plates around. The first was Illinois, the second Minnesota, and the last was Indiana. On a suckier note, someone ripped down one of my door decorations, so they're going to hear about that tonight. Lastly, on a lighter note, I fell asleep on my bed last night! And I'm alive! Which means it didn't collapse nor did i fall off! Hurray! Current Mood: fine Current Music: Aerosmith - Love in an Elevator (Comment on this)
Friday, September 1st, 2006
5:54 pm	Texas Hold 'Em So, last night I played poker with some of the RAs of the building. I totally won big on this one hand, I was dealt two Aces. Then in the middle there was an Ace a King and a five. So I knew then there was no way i was going to lose with three pair of Aces. Other people were betting high too, and i was just smiling on the inside as they kept going. Then the next card was the last Ace. I won the hand and the disbelief and awe of everyone in the room and all their money too. Oh, and the next hand, I had a full house, so I did pretty well with that one two. Good times. Current Mood: pleased Current Music: Stupid G!rls - P!nk (Comment on this)
Tuesday, August 29th, 2006
11:34 pm	Hello Journal Long time no see, no? I am very tired right now and I shouldn't be, because I definitely took a nap earlier so that I could be awake now. Time Management skills, you have failed me!!!! I think I'm getting a cold, but I can't tell because it could very well just be my allergies. I am making lots of friends with my co-RAs and Peer Mentors. And ew, to all those Danvers-ites there is an RA, in my cluster, who is a mix of Sean Clarke and Billy. Awkward much? You can bet on it. I must give out much due credited to the fabulous Lauren "Superstar" Drapek because I used your door decoration idea here, and I am now the coolest kid on the street, I mean floor, I mean buiding. The idea was to use ipods and put their names on them and stick 'em on the doors. I was worried about my room set up, because my bed is now lofted with my desk under it and my futon sits facing it on the opposite wall. I would sleep in my bed, except that I am A) terrified that I will roll off my bed one night and die or B) the whole thing will collapse during the night and I'll die or C) that I'll somehow live through either of those but be a paraplegic or worse a quadriplegic. I like my motor skills. So instead I've been sleeping on my futon. But what am I going to do if someone comes to visit?! And I do want visitors! Sigh. Oh and guess what. The All-American Rejects are playing here for a concert in October. So who wants to come see them with me? I think th Current Mood: tired Current Music: Some guy, Jack Johnson, who I've never heard before but like (Comment on this)
Friday, August 4th, 2006
12:55 pm	So the other day I was over at zach's house and as we're sitting around having dinner mrs. stanley is telling us about the avian flu - and now i am seriously fucking worried and i cant stop thinking about it. She said: its not a matter of is it happens but when it happens its possible it could wipe out a 1/4 of the population you would have to seclude yourself at home for like 3 months so you should start buying water and non perishable food. and she was saying that if your immune system is too good and it attacks the virus, toxins can be released that could kill you. So, basically we're all fucked until we can adapt to it and get over it. And during that time when every is trying to seclude themselves... that means no one is working... which means limited electricity which brings us back to the stone age basically limited water, food and you could be carrying it for like 2 days before it presents itself. fuck fuck fuck fuck I dont want to fucking die Current Mood: scared as hell Current Music: chopin - to try and calm me the fuck down (Comment on this)
Monday, July 31st, 2006
5:29 pm	Now that I'm home... yes, back in danvers! score! I can say without fear of retaliation that spanish men are seriously fucked up. For some reason they do believe that a mullet is an okay hairstyle. And not only that, but they customize them. I have seen such mullets as: - the stoner - mullet w/ dreads in the back -the dye job - pick a color, bleach, red, blue I saw a lot of them -the blob - named for the amount of gel it must take to get this style "right" <- the aforementioned word is to be used as sparingly and only as a lack of a better word eludes me at the moment. those are just a few. They were inescapable. It was gross. It still is. It should be a crime. Hairstylists should be arrested for commiting crimes against humanity. and, hallelujah, i have my ipod back again. oh how i missed you music! Current Mood: happy to be home (Comment on this)
Wednesday, July 5th, 2006
2:37 am	Oh dios mio Hello from spain! i´m here in beautiful salamanca and every turn is an up and down. I just had the worst class and now i feel so discouraged and dont even know what to do with myself. i want to talk to someone but everyone on AIM has an away message up. I love being here don´t get me wrong, but i do not think i am good enough academically for this class. all the people in it besides this one other girl who thank god i´m friends with are all either native speakers or have become fluent. She and i, we´re a far cry from that but the thing is that we´re good enough that we wouldn´t really fit in in the lower program. so, i went to the director after the class just now and basically was like, what should i do? and he was like, oh you could move into this other literature class, and i´m like hey, idiot, if i can´t do well in this one how am i supposed to well in the other? it doesn´t take fluency in a language to understand that, does it? and then he was like, oh well, there is a grammar class for teachers on teaching students grammar so we were like whatever we´ll sit in and see. we got like 5 feet from the door and we saw all the TAs who are here on the trip who are again fluent or native speakers and we were like, wtf. so the girl and i, caroline is her name btw, are basically going to go talk to the director again tomorrow and be like, listen, at this point we don´t even care if we move down to the lower program and get credit. it would be practice and repetition and theres nothing wrong with that. i don´t know if i can just drop this literature class and do my history one because though i had a little trouble with it i could at least get most of what she was saying and what was going on. with this literature class, she lectured for probably about a half hour and i got nothing from it except for the three topics she was talking about, baroque, neoclassicism and preromanticism. and y´know what? i´ve never even learned about those in english and i probably would have trouble understanding the concepts and interpreting the literature and applying those concepts to them in english. so how the hell am i supposed to do it in spanish? sigh. ok, deep breath. other than that crisis everything is great. i mean its weird because i can pretty much communicate with the family. i can ask for directions and order food and i had a 5 minute conversation outside the universidad with a complete stranger and i seemed to do ok, so it just is so stressing when you have all this good things happening and then you get slapped with something like feeling overwhelmed and stupid in a class. Right now im in the plaza mayor and its wonderful. at night it lights up and is really something to see. there are two small parks by my house and ive spent a bit of time in each already. tomorrow i think i might go over to this bigger garden that is some sort of garden for the jesuits? or maybe its a garden by a jesuit church? i dunno, but it looked nice and big on the map so im gonna check it out. friday i leave for portugal with the group and we´re going to Lisbon. I wasn´t sure if i was going to do it or not because it cost about 200 american dollars for 2 nights and i don´t have a lot of money anymore, but i realized that if i didn´t do it, i would definitely regret it and always wonder, what if i had gone? The family i am staying with is pretty good. the mother has two sons who live with us, juan who is 25 and dani who is 21. then there´s me and my room mate and then last night two other girls came - its a little crowded but what can you do? and ok, the mother is very hard to figure out, because she seems nice but then the other day she told us we hadf to pay 36 euros for her to do our laundry and i´m almost positive that was in the program fee. then, today at lunch, my room mate had an orange that he didn´t finish and she basically yelled at him for wasting it and the poor guy has only done like one class in his whole life, so he didn´t understand so i had to tell him in english and i felt bad. on the bright side though, everything she´s made so far has been really good. and yesterday for lunch we had platanos con chocolate y helado (bananas with chocolate and ice cream) soooo good. ok i´m feeling better now about the whole situation i guess. i don´t even care, maybe this minor isn`t worth it. i only wanted it to have something to show for the time that ive studied the language but if its going to cause me this much stress than its not worth it. Current Mood: blah Current Music: no music, i would kill for itunes or even a radio (Comment on this)
Wednesday, June 7th, 2006
12:15 am	Sigh. I'm nervous about going to Spain. Don't get me wrong - I cannot wait to go and I think that once I get there I am going to regret not going for an entire semester, but I'm still nervous. I'm worried that I'm going to get there and I'm not going to understand anyone and when I try to speak people are going to be like, "Who the hell is this asshole and why is he butchering our language" Because honestly, every time you have a teacher at college who doesn't speak English as their first language aren't you annoyed? I mean I get past it but don't you sometimes just feel a little bit annoyed? And I care way too much about what other people think of me so that's going to bother me. I'm also nervous about flying. I can deal with cross country flights and I'm good usually once i'm in the air, but the thought of flying over the ocean with nowhere to land just scares me. Plus, after hearing about Lauren's horror story in travelling i freaked for the whole day. In fact I'm freaking myself out now so I have to stop this train of thought. I'm worried about not fitting in either. It's bad enough I have so few friends at school but now I'm gonna be in a completely different country with a different culture, language and family. God, I'm going to be living with a family, that's scary too. And do I tell anyone? Of course not. But I write it out and it helps. I rented TransAmerica tonight from MovieWorks, anyone wanna watch it tomorrow? Current Mood: nervous Current Music: Baba Yetu (Swahili, Our Lord's Prayer) Title song from Civ 4 (Comment on this)
Friday, June 2nd, 2006
12:03 am	I vote that Goodies become the new Supreme's because let's face it - ice cream is so much better. Plus, they have music and un sleazy workers. Hurray for Colleen because she made my frappe. and she is not sleazy. Current Mood: yawn Current Music: Pon De Replay - Rihanna (Comment on this)
Monday, May 22nd, 2006
1:30 pm	Casper's Lullaby Never have I heard a more heart wrenching, emotional and beautiful song on a movie soundtrack. What's more is that I used to love this song and play it all the time, for comfort, as my own lullaby, even just to listen to it to pick out new things. But I lost the song somewhere along in time and today while listening to the Yahoo! online radio Soundtracks station it came on! And my heart melted all over again. I closed my eyes within a minute of listening just because it felt right and then a minute later it was a good thing i had them closed because i think if I didn't I would have started crying. I'm that emotional right now, plus its that good. I think I may have to either somehow find it and download it or go out and buy the whole thing. Its James Horner so the rest should be okay and just finally having the song will make whatever the price worth it. Current Mood: emotional Current Music: Casper's Lullaby - James Horner (Comment on this)
Sunday, May 21st, 2006
5:23 pm	A Regular ZOcean-Front Storm I miss not being by the water. That's what I hate about being out here at school. I realized this again as this intense storm just passed by. We never get good storms out here. All it is is clouds and wind and rain. No thunder, not even high winds just windy. But just now, we had this awesome storm. I looked outside about like 5 minutes before it started. Now, I'm on the 15th floor so I can see pretty far and see pretty much see everything on a clear day. Today, though cloudy, was pretty clear but I looked out and I saw this big white fog-like mass that was thick enough to block the hills out. Then the winds started to really pick up so I threw on some shoes and went outside. The power started to flicker so I took the stairs and I got outside and it was Hailing! The last time I remember seeing hail was in ... 6th grade in math class! And it was obvs. in winter time. But this is out here and in may. So I'm outside, being pelted by hail that's being thrown at me not just by falling from the sky but also from the high winds. It was great. There was thunder and lightning too. And now, it's been about 20 minutes since the intensity stopped and the clouds are almost all gone and you can see the sky and the sun on the end of the storm front. I love the beginning and ends of storm fronts because they're these huge lines where the clouds just stop or start. Sigh. I can't wait to be home and see my first big storm there. I can't wait to be home in general, but I can't do anything about that. 5 days. Current Mood: excited! Current Music: Usher - Burn (Comment on this)
Monday, May 15th, 2006
7:07 pm	Life of Pi = The Superiority of Mankind Which was basically my thesis for the paper I just wrote. I felt so arrogant writing it. Ick. But thank god its done. Now I just have to have it proofread and I'm good to go. Current Mood: happy Current Music: Done with English... except for the final (Comment on this)
1:28 pm	Well, I knew this already I am 54% Evil Genius. Evil courses through my blood. Lies and deceit motivate my evil deeds. Crushing the weaklings and idiots that do nothing but interfere in my doings. Take the Evil Genius Test @ FualiDotCom Current Mood: devious Current Music: The Imperial March - Star Wars (Comment on this)
Saturday, May 13th, 2006
11:04 pm	I miss you grandpa The picture is not mine, it was taken by Hector U. Velazquez. I got it from the website in the bottom right of the picture. I miss my grandfather. It no longer hurts, its more of an aching feeling that something's missing. I can't talk to him, I can only even think of certain phrases that he used to say. I can still picture him, but his voice... is indistinct now. I hate it. I hate losing him, as if losing him once wasn't enough now I have to lose him again and this time I can't do anything. I can't be at his side I can't be with him again to help me remember. This is too painful. And Auntie Joy I miss you too. It's still as much of a shock that grandpa's not home, but I won't be seeing you in the summer's now either. No trips up from Florida and stays in Nahant. I'm switching my wallet for you. I already had one when you gave yours to me, but, I think I'd like to use yours now. I miss you. I miss you both and just like my memory Sparr's has faded. The store is gone. We have pictures but its not the same. I can't go in and walk up and down the aisles. I can't get a pack of gum there anymore, or eat at the old fashioned soda fountain. All I have are some photos, a shirt and my memories. But the shirt will wear and my memories will fade and all I'll have are some photos which have my name. I want to go home. I want to see my grandparents and my nana. I want to hug my mom and never let go. I want somebody to lie to me and tell me they'll never leave me. Current Mood: crushed (Comment on this)
Tuesday, May 9th, 2006
3:31 pm	I need to destress quickly so I figured I'd put the rhyme I made up this morning here. I was walking to class and saw a worker welding, (because umass is plagued with construction right now) and I came up with this rhyme (to the tune of Twinkle Twinkle): Twinkle, Twinkle welding torch, How I love to burn and scorch, With your white-hot, blazing flame, Without you arson's not the same, Twinkle, Twinkle, welding torch, How I love to burn and scorch. Current Mood: stressed (Comment on this)
Sunday, May 7th, 2006
11:35 pm	LIAR LIAR CHURCH ON FIRE I would know, I started it. So there.             No raindrops on roses,                                                                                                  Or girls in white dresses                                           It's sleeping with roaches and taking best guesses                                                                      at the shade of the sheets before all the stains              and a few more of your LEAST FAVORITE THINGS. Current Mood: greatly amused Current Music: Build God, Then We'll Talk ~ Panic! at the Disco (Comment on this)
Wednesday, April 26th, 2006
12:49 pm	It's good to be home... Oh journal at last! I finally feel like myself again. I've been muddling through and for awhile didn't feel like myself but that's finally changing. I noticed it today at first when I had my early class and I just was all fun and giggly with Alyssa in my food class, and then when the teacher was calling on groups for answers, she called on the group called "Choking on a steak tip" and I just laughed openly. Oh geez it was great. I mean, really, when you get to choose your own group name, why in the world would you choose that? Not that I should really say anything since our group name is Fried Green Tomatoes. Then just now, (I'm at work) and both advisors are on their lunch hours and some kid comes in and he wants to see one of them. I'm like, "Well he's on his lunch break so you should come back in a bit" And this kid was like "Well, he asked me to do a little bit of homework for him and so I need to see him" And I was like, "That's great. Come see him during his walk in hours after his break." and then I said, "He's not even here and his hours are until 4:30. Why don't you try coming back then?" Ha. Don't mess with me bi-yatch. K have to get back to writing ma paper. Current Mood: happy, finally Current Music: none (Comment on this)